I’ve made a mess of my life

about 2 years ago i did some really vile things that led to me being arrested. Ive been out on bail for 2 years while my lawyer is working my case and in that time, I turned to God. Now that I’m a Christian, I know that doesn’t excuse my past in the eyes of the world, but I know that God has forgiven me. My prayer is that things work out so that I have a second chance with my family. I have court coming up and this is all ending pretty soon, but I have no idea the outcome. My family has forgiven me and wants me home, and honestly they need me home. If I go to prison, there’s a strong possibility that we will lose everything. Please pray that the judge shows me compassion and mercy. Also pray that I may be able to forgive myself. The pain I’ve caused is never ending it seems. I hate the man I was in the past and hate the things I did. I realize now that God used those things to make me realize how far gone I was and just how terrible of a person I am without Him.