Hx abortion/ meds/sickness/job

Hi I had an abortion, Jesus gave me a dream that revealed to me that it was a real life, idk but I was pregnant with my daughter, that was over 18 yrs ago now and I’ve never had an abortion since praise God. I went through an abortion healing program too. I work as a nurse, I got involved in natural medicine and moved to another state to work in holistic medicine but got fired. A local hospital interviewed and hired me. I struggle being on zoloft bc I’m told post covid it’s one of many drugs they used aborted babies to create and I struggle with side effects so I stopped and tried going natural but I made a really big mistake at the hospital that might cost me my job and I wonder if I was on the medicine if I would have focus better. I’m gonna restart it but I feel guilty bc I don’t want to support medicine that had any ties to abortion. Can’t change the past but praying forward medicine changes and God help me accept if this is His will. I know He is a redeemer. Praying I can find ways to still be prolife and take medicine, praying I don’t lose my job praying against side effects for me and my patients bc I work in geri psych. I’m a single mom of 2 and I’m reliant on my job to provide for my family. It’s a lot of pressure bc I have no one we had to cut family ties on both sides bc of abuse. God and the mercy and kindness of His children is what I have. My kids still deal with effects and I do too, I have cPTSD. Praying God help me be a good nurse and that as He extends grace and mercy I’m able to do so to others and cast my cares on Him. Idk what else to do holostic mds won’t hire me it seems and this is the open door God gave me, praying i can be a good nurse and not make anymore mistakes. Idk I’m suppose to go in to work tomorrow and I’m really scared idk what will happen. I feel so bad I didnt mean to mess up. Only God’s favor and mercy and redemption can help me