Entire life everyone including parents siblings relatives all mistreated abused and andoned me when no longer Benifit them. I’ve been in relatiknships now 36 only to be used and thrown out like trash .. I need some peace some time to heal it seems it never had stoppe lr long enuf for me to even process and it’s caused hardships and no family friends there it’s been the worst Season recently and I’m asking for a miracle god sheds light on the truth woth “husband” that has my son he abuses as well as me when I was still in the picture I’ve been taking consequences it seems for my mother and husbands identity’s and shortcomings I’ve reached my breaking point my kids used to break me and I need stretch to get up keep going .. I’m alone I have no means for anything being abadoned by my husband and he head started making me out to be a monster in court and everyone seems to favor and belive him so the abuser wins and I’m punished but not mostly my children. I need a miracle to get through this god shed light on teuth keep my baby’s safe faith and ryley and please be with us.: lord please it’s been

I need to heal and constant trmaa and alone loss to spare me to heal I don’t have it in me to keep going to be hurt mislead I was loved until the benfit whomever lied to ne for was received I was abandoned. And blamed everytime it happened. Escape goat … I have been abused misused taken advantage of by it seems almost everyone that said they loved me. My own parents siblings even and I’ve been walked on so much I should be completely flat. I have a big heart and see the good in every one everything except myself. I have never felt good about anything regarding myself. I felt i was deformed abnormal since I can remember becuase of the abuse at such an earlier age my mother mostly physically mentally emotionally… I blamed myself for her not wanting me and how I was treated and left and tossed from aunts to grandmas and i acted out until someone brought me to my moms and my mom would only mistreat me hurt me my siblings would tease me my mom and sister belittled me crushed my self image said I was fat and not normal never have a boyfriend and to this day I look in the mirror and see ugly and worthless unwanted and fat.. insecure ext they encouraged smoking cigs and stealing from my grandma and bringing stuff to them was ideal and I did so in desperate need for valadtion.. they told me eating Bad/fatty foods were good and would give me boobs and stuff it all snowballed into back to my grandmas feeling more uncomfortable and unwanted and something was wrong with me why no1 loved me. My favorite book was country the bear I related to it being left and not wanted in the window. My father was in and out of prison I have memeores of us going for walks fishing and more so tagging along with him when he was out partying and organizing beer rolling joints getting money thrown at me to go to store get candy for they could do there drugs.. I felt really close to my dad and I idolized him until I realized he only wrote becuase he was locked up he wouldn’t have if he wasn’t and he had inamtes sending me letters making me praion jewelry and gifts and saying when they get out my father and prisoner would be family fishing boating and i wrote I thought he loved me. Ineveitlyby he used me to Benifit himself in prison practically sold me to gain a in-house lawyer that was very scary hunted me down saying he owned me. Only good memories I have ate with my grandparents where I was always sent back to in the country on a farm and my aunt uncle and cousins laskkonens were always good to me. My mother would call and tell me she was coming to visit me and I would sit at sunrise at an oak tree that overlooked the dirt road waitin GB for her until sunset. The mailman would be the only vehicle down the road but she would come one day. I got left at my mothers empty cockroach apartment in Duluth around 14 my father said grandparents couldn’t handle me anymore and he was going to prison feds were coming to get him and dropped me off at my mothers. Days later I woke to them abandoning me alone with nothing no note nothing and from the country to city and alone i found two tall Jesus candles and stayed at this apartment figured out how to get a job friend and sign up for housing assistance and had to find my mom at some new guys house and deliver crack for her to sign papers to imansapate me to get any apartment to rent to me. She took credit for that as everything was all about her… she and my little brother my sister was out in the streets… 

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